Most men arrive here carrying a story about themselves that they've been telling for years - maybe decades. It's usually a compelling narrative about why they struggle with women, why relationships don't work out, why they feel anxious or rejected or not enough. These stories often trace back to childhood wounds, family dynamics, past relationships that went wrong.

The first phase of our work together in a coach/coachee dynamic is excavation - we dig into that story. We examine it, understand it, honour the pain that created it.

But here's what most therapy misses: the 'story', no matter how true it feels, has become a prison.

Crucially, this story doesn't just live in our heads - it's encoded in the nervous system. When that woman you're attracted to pulls away or doesn't respond as you hoped, the body contracts. Chest tightens, breathing becomes shallow, anxiety floods the system. These sensations are interpreted as further evidence that you're being 'rejected' - but really, you're experiencing the activation of an old wound that has nothing to do with her.

The second phase is interruption. Once the story is fully exposed, as coaches we hold up a mirror that  confront syou with an uncomfortable truth - you're not a victim of your story anymore, you're its author! It's being actively choosen, day after day, because it's familiar and it protects us from the scarier work of actually changing.

We'll build your awareness of these somatic patterns - learning to recognise the moment your nervous system activates, understanding that your body's alarm response is based on old programming, not present reality. This awareness creates space between trigger and reaction.

We show you exactly how your story is used to avoid responsibility, to justify staying stuck, to push away the very things you say you want. This is where the real discomfort begins, because every excuse is challenged and every old pattern pointed out until you can't hide behind your narrative anymore.

The third phase is reconstruction. With your old story dismantled and your nervous system learning new responses, we build new behaviorus, new ways of showing up as a man.

This includes rewiring your automatic reactions - learning to breathe through activation, to stay present instead of contracting into old wounds, to respond from choice rather than childhood programming.

For those ready to go deeper, there's a fourth phase - mastery. This is where we develop the practical skills that create the life you actually want. We work on leadership and presence - how to command attention and inspire others. We focus on wealth creation - turning your work into real financial abundance, career progression or business development - all the areas where the old patterns have limited your results. And we master the arts of intimacy - becoming the kind of man women desire rather than reject, and therefore feel safe to connect with ,surrender to, both emotionally and physically.

This isn't theory or wishful thinking. These are concrete, trainable skills that transform how you show up in every area of life. This level can only be developed when you've done the foundational work of dismantling your victim story and regulating your nervous system. The foundational work accelerates the the subsequent learning and skill development.

This process unfolds over months, not weeks. It requires you to stay when every instinct tells you to run back to your familiar story. But on the other side of this work is the authentic man you've always had the capacity to be - one who creates the relationships and life he wants instead of explaining why he can't have them or blames others for the way his life is.

Of course, all this is done with great care and attention, our role as coaches is to 'hold' you in the discomfort of the process and work through it with you to the freedom beyond.

If you have questions about the No More Mr. Nice Guy® group or about coaching, drop us an email at [email protected] or WhatsApp Rowan via our No More Mr. Nice Guy® Community WhatsApp group.