The No More Mr. Nice Guy® Blog
The place for men who are done with surface-level advice and ready for perspectives that challenge conventional thinking. Whether you're questioning everything you've been told about relationships, rethinking your approach to success, or wrestling with your deeper purpose, you'll find insights here that cut through the noise.
Most men arrive here carrying a story about themselves that they've been telling for years - maybe decades. It's usually a compelling narrative about why they struggle with women, why relationships don't work out, why they feel anxious or rejected or not enough. These stories often trace back to childhood wounds, family dynamics, past relationships that went wrong.
The first phase of our work together in a coach/coachee dynamic is excavation - we dig into that story. We examine it, understand it, honour the pain that created it.
But here's what most therapy misses: the 'story', no matter how true it feels, has become a prison.
Crucially, this story doesn't just live in our heads - it's encoded in the nervous system. When that woman you're attracted to pulls away or doesn't respond as you hoped, the body contracts. Chest tightens, breathing becomes shallow, anxiety floods the system. These sensations are interpreted as further evidence that you're being 'rejected' - but really, you're experiencing the activation of an old wound that has nothing to do with her.
The second phase is interruption. Once the story is fully exposed, as coaches we hold up a mirror that confront syou with an uncomfortable truth - you're not a victim of your story anymore, you're its author! It's being actively choosen, day after day, because it's familiar and it protects us from the scarier work of actually changing.
We'll build your awareness of these somatic patterns - learning to recognise the...
What happens at The Authentic Man Bootcamp?
First, let’s understand what personal development is…after all, that’s what The Authentic Man Bootcamp is all about - igniting your personal development journey!
Personal development is about developing awareness of how we perceive ourselves and the outside world. And it’s about building the capability to notice and understand how that perception keeps us stuck, at the same time as developing the skills to be able to see reality as it is, unfettered by our past experiences of it.
Once we can see the reality of who we are from a wider perspective at least, our existing narrow perspective falls away, it dissolves, along with the old fear-based behaviour patterns that keep us stuck in life.
That opens up multiple new possibilities to fulfil our deepest longings and desires. What you might call, freedom and the possibility of fulfilment. So long as we remain stuck in our narrow view, there is no chance of the fulfilment that is so longed for.
Personal development then, is like a reality check.
With awareness, we expose just how much we believe that we are alone in this, and it’ll never work out for me how I really want it to. With that awareness we get to see another reality: we are all in the same boat!
Everyone struggles, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
At Bootcamp, in a group setting, we explore what shapes our self-perception, our thoughts and feelings and the story we have created about ourselves, our lives, othe...
Me and my bitch
She is a body of pure boundless energy.
Constantly in the flow of the aliveness coursing through her.
Free. Beautiful. Awesome.
An unfettered expression of something ever changing.
I’ve had to step up as a man since she came into my life.
I have to be a leader for us if this is going to work.
She will head off in any direction her energy takes her.
She likes me to lead the way so long as I know where I’m going. It helps her to relax in life knowing we’re headed somewhere good.
She needs to know where we’re going though, in order to commit herself to follow.
Not necessarily the end point, but like a ship’s compass, the direction of travel.
“This way,” I tell her when she’s not sure.
Structure and boundaries keep us safe. I make it clear what is ok and what is not, and so does she.
I do not make those boundaries so narrow that they might constrict her flow or crush her spirit.
If I’m flakey, lacking in integrity, she’ll expose it and exploit the leaky container I have built. Chaos, in those instances, is never far behind!
A bond is forming.
Whether we stay together forever or not, the bond of love is always there.
And if she leaves tomorrow, that’s ok, we’ll just move on with love in our hearts.
When she’s scared, I gently persuade her.
“Come. It’s ok. Let’s go!”
It reassures her that I, at least seem to, know where I am going and am taking care of her. Like asking for her trust.
When she’s anxious, I calm her with reassuring words, “It’s ok...
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