Me and my bitch

She is a body of pure boundless energy.

Constantly in the flow of the aliveness coursing through her.

Free. Beautiful. Awesome.

An unfettered expression of something ever changing.

I’ve had to step up as a man since she came into my life.

I have to be a leader for us if this is going to work.

She will head off in any direction her energy takes her.

She likes me to lead the way so long as I know where I’m going. It helps her to relax in life knowing we’re headed somewhere good.

She needs to know where we’re going though, in order to commit herself to follow.

Not necessarily the end point, but like a ship’s compass, the direction of travel.

“This way,” I tell her when she’s not sure.

Structure and boundaries keep us safe. I make it clear what is ok and what is not, and so does she.

I do not make those boundaries so narrow that they might constrict her flow or crush her spirit.

If I’m flakey, lacking in integrity, she’ll expose it and exploit the leaky container I have built. Chaos, in those instances, is never far behind!

A bond is forming.

Whether we stay together forever or not, the bond of love is always there.

And if she leaves tomorrow, that’s ok, we’ll just move on with love in our hearts.

When she’s scared, I gently persuade her.

“Come. It’s ok. Let’s go!”

It reassures her that I, at least seem to, know where I am going and am taking care of her. Like asking for her trust.

When she’s anxious, I calm her with reassuring words, “It’s ok. I’m here.”

I am taking care of her and she, in her way, is taking care of me.

I notice how she looks to me for decisions when she’s not sure.

If decisions are left to her all the time she’ll get fatigued. Frustrated to have to be in her head when her essence is pure energy.

If I’m not clear and decisive, she’s not clear. Confusion reigns.

She craves the clarity I seem to provide.

She shows when she’s upset with me for not being consistent or able to decide, or when she’s not getting what she needs.

Sometimes I have to work it out, if she can’t express it.

Although I may try to blame her for not understanding me at times, I cannot blame her for me not making sense.

Her language is energetic, her preferred communication style.

Sometimes a gentle hand on her belly with some sweet soft words seem to do the trick.

I look at her and see her beauty. The words trip off my tongue.

“You’re so beautiful, I love you!”

I can’t help myself but say.

Her whole body seems to smile when she hears my unfiltered truth.

She doesn’t want to be cuddled all the time. I don’t use her for cuddles that are really only for my benefit.

If I smother her with my needy affection, she will pull back, feel stifled, overwhelmed.

Her own energy is enough to carry without being saddled with mine when I am low.

I find other sources of comfort and my own inner strength when I need it.

I give her a cuddle when I can see she needs or wants it. Perhaps because she’s feeling great or perhaps she’s feeling low.

Anyway, she shows me when she wants my affection.

She’ll lie on her back, soft and open, that’s how I know she wants my touch.

And when I am low, she’ll feel it, without me telling her my woes. She’s so intuitive, she often comes to kiss me then. She’s so sweet.

I ask her for a cuddle, if I want it. But it’s best not to expect her to give it to me. Sometimes I have to be strong enough to accept that, if, for whatever reason, she doesn’t want to give it right now.

I invite it in nevertheless. “Come here, give me a cuddle!” She’ll do it if she wants and that’s ok by me.

However much I love her and enjoy being with her, I need plenty of time for myself. I take it!

When I’m with her, I’m all in. Not distracted. When it’s our time, it’s our time!

Her name is Bunny, she's a Labrador - Vizsla cross. Well who did you think I was talking about?!

If you have questions about No More Mr. Nice Guy® or would like to chat, drop us an email at [email protected] or WhatsApp Rowan via our No More Mr. Nice Guy® Community. Community WhatsApp group.